I am definitely what one would call a cat codependent. My entire life, cats have been a major and secure part. Growing up we always had at least 3 and now there are 7 being spoiled rotten in my home. I have decided that it is genetic and that I am destined to be that 70 year old cat woman we all know of. It might be considered unhealthy the amount of love I have for my babies. My brother and sister are just as obsessed as I am---my brother has 3 and my sister has 4. Our mates have learned that at any time we could walk through the door with that guilty look on our face, trying to mask the pure glee we are feeling now that we have a new little kitty to love.
You might be a cat-codependant if...
...Your desire to acquire another cat intensifies during times of stress.
...You hesitate to admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have.
...You sleep in the same position all night because you know it annoys kitty when you move.
...You kiss your cat in the lips.
...You feed your cats tid-bits from your fork.
...Your cat sleeps on your head and you like it.
...You have bought or considered buying a entertainment video for your cats.
...You give your cats stockings or gifts at Christmas..or worse...birthdays.
...You include your cats "signatures" on Christmas cards.
...You put off making the bed until kitty wakes up.
...Your cat eats out of crystal stemware because you both saw the same commercial together.
...You climb out of bed extra slow so that you don't disturb the sleeping cats.
...You find yourself performing life threatening acrobatics because kitty is in a tree.
...Let dinner burn because kitty is on your lap and he needs love more than your family needs dinner.
...You carry pictures of you cats in your wallet. (40% do)
...You buy more than 50 pounds of litter each month.
...When someone new comes to the house, you introduce the cats, by name, to them.
...You have full conversations with kitty and think it's normal.
...Each of your cats gets spoken to in their own individual "special" voice.
...You have called your answering machine and left a message for your cat.
...You would rather spend an evening with kitty than go on a date.
...You secretly believe your cat understands you.
...You have taken your cat to a pet therapist.
...You have more photos of your cat displayed in your home than humans.
....You think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter.
...You watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote.
...You sleep with no pillow under your head, because the cat wants to sleep on it.
...The grocery-store checker ask you "How many cats do you have, anyway??"
...Your neighbors refer to you as "the crazy one with all the cats."
...You have a web page dedicated to your cats.(Wanna see mine?)(Wanna see my brother's?)
Rules of Etiquette for the Inexperienced Cat
If you have an upset stomach, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage this, find an expensive rug- shag is always a good choice.
Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap during the evening.
For sitting on laps and rubbing against legs always choose fabric colors that contrast with your fur.
Always accompany people to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything, just sit and stare.
Determine those who say they adore kitties then growl, hiss and give a quick nip to the ankle.
Do not allow closed doors in the home. Hammer at it with your forepaws until your human opens it. It is not necessary to use it- you can always change your mind.
If it is the outside door in question, place yourself half in and half out and acclimate to the surroundings. This is crucial during cold weather and storms.
As soon as your human cleans the floors be prepared to play in your food and splash water around.
Once the rugs have been straightened you may then sled across the floor on them- try to hit your food dishes if possible. This is also especially fun at 3am.
When your human is reading get in close under the chin, unless ofcourse you can lie on the book itself.
When your human is writing make sure and act playful by biting on the pen and "chasing" the writing.
If your human is doing homework make sure and sit on the paper being worked on. For extra excitement, bat around the erasers, pens, etc.
Get plenty of sleep during the day so that you are fresh for playing between 3 and 5 a.m.
If you do decide to take a cat nap in the middle of the night, pick a spot close to your humans face...directly on it, if possible.
If your human starts acting too sweet... RUN! It can only mean they are going to cram you in a cage, put you in the machine of destruction, and then take you to see that bad man with all the needles and prods.
Try to bring your human gifts daily. Leave it on the front step, or even better, bring it inside the house. When bringing snakes or birds inside make sure they are still alive; this will add to the appreciation of the gift.
How to Bathe a Cat
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).
CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the
noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.Sincerely,
The Dog
Akoyia was acquired because I'm too weak to say "No". I showed up at my sister's house only to find my niece and nephew looking up at me saying "Please" and making threats about the pound. So I took him home in a bird cage and had to tell my husband we had another addition to the household. He's a very strange cat. His favorite things in life are tormenting his siblings, trying to open doors, and slithering across my neck at 6 a.m. He's the best lap cat I've ever had. My husband even likes him. He'll lay however you place him and never move. He's slept upside down and backwards on several occasions. He's 6 years old, but he still plays like a kitten. If I sit on the floor he bolts over to me wanting to play. I've learned not to ever try to brush him on the floor since he associates it with playing. When he's really desperate for attention, or is mad because the new guest hasn't recognized his existence, he'll jump right on to your shoulder. It's a pretty cool trick, although he does it at really bad times and won't do it when I want him to. I guess then it's not really a trick, is it?
Sandusky is my pretty girl. My family calls her my mutant cat since she is part Siamese and part calico. I got the name from the song by Uncle Tupelo. It is my favorite song in existence and I just really think it's a pretty name.She has the bluest eyes I've ever seen. I got her when I went into the animal shelter to pick up a form. I fell in love with her immediately, and spent the next 7 hours convincing my husband the reasons why I so desperately needed this particular cat. Finally he realized that he'd lost this battle and should just give in. I'm so happy I saved her. I know she is too. She gets treated like a princess around here. She is by far my most affectionate cat. The only problem is that she only wants attention when I'm doing something where it's an inconvenience to stop everything to pet her. If I don't acknowledge her presence, she patiently sits and stares...and stares...and stares.
Clemptor is my bitch cat...well, more like a Jeckyl and Hide personality. She loves to hate to be petted, and hates to be loved without her permission and on her terms. Sometimes she won't leave me alone, screaming in her Siamese dialect, which is ruthless, and other times she's a snob for days. Not a lot to tell about Miss Clemptor...just that she's a little bitch.
Gleelore got booted outside after she decided she would no longer use the litter box. We tried everything I knew to do, but to no avail she would still leave us presents around the house. I hated to put her out for good, but she seems just fine with it. The kids and I made a very warm home for her under the house and she's since invited her boyfriend to live with her. He is currently named Dumb Stray, but is really close to being an official Gooden Cat. Gleelore loves to have her shoulders petted. She'll lift the front part of her body all the way up just to get the full affect of the petting. It looks like the "wave" that break dancers did in the 80's.
So a entire year had gone by and I'd been very good...I'd not asked for a kitty! Chris once again made it clear when I brought home Gleelore and Bedimere that WE HAVE ENOUGH KITTIES! So I listened and didn't even protest. One morning while going to work I was stopped in construction. A big dump truck was heading my way at the same time this little kitten ran out into the road. The worker kicked it to the side of the road and it immediately ran out again, nearly getting squished as the truck went by. By this point I was quite upset...as any cat-codependant would be in this moment of crisis. So I threw my car in park and jumped out to save the poor little kitty (all the while stressing as to how I would tell Chris). She was in pretty poor shape...starving, dehydrated, sneezing, mats in her fur, and had an eye infection. While driving to my sister's house down the road she purred and rolled around on my lap as if she knew she was finally safe :-) We took her to the vet and had all the necessary tests done and acquired 4 different types of medicine for her. We made sure the vet gave her a bath as to aide in presenting her to Chris. I knew he wasn't going to be thrilled in the first place, but bringing home a matted sickly oozing kitten is not the proper way to bring a new addition to the house :-) When I finally got up the nerve to come home I couldn't even tell him. I was so upset that I just decided to leave and go back to my sister's. He followed me out to the car, saw the little kitty and then patiently listened while I cried my eyes out telling him of my very upsetting kitty rescue mission. He didn't get mad at all and said I could keep it. He knows I'm a sucker for starving kittens in the middle of the road :-) So to my surprise I now had a new little kitty to name and love. I threw out a few names... Aramnewg, Bohecephat and Raggle...but in her straggly sickly state she was most appropriately a Grizelda.
Zydeco aka Psycho. On Thursday, March 30, 2006, we lost our Beloved Cooper. Only a year old, but we loved him more than we thought we could love a cat. Obviously devistated, we knew we need to bring some joy back into the house. The only thing that could balance out the hurt we were feeling over losing Cooper, was the sideways 'hop hop hop' of a widdle baby kitten. As luck would have it, one of my daughter's friends had kittens almost ready to be given away. We called that night and claimed the little black kitten. We brought him home the next Monday. Zydeco was born on Fat Tuesday, and since Fat Tuesday is a stupid name for a cat, we opted between Cajun & Zydeco. He is definitely a Psycho Zydeco. As a kitten, he loved to attack feet, which was quite frightening. He's adopted Akoyia and Boceiphus as daddies/prey. We've taught him to sit pretty from the start, although his 'pretty' was more of a paws wailing screaming "feeeeeeeeeeedd meeeeeeeeee" way of sitting....but now he'll sit pretty for anything. He's definitely our pretty boy...and a Daddy's baby. Cooper converted Chris to a cat tolerator...but Zydeco has made him a cat lover. Zydeco's greatest trait, aside from his saber teeth, is that he truly has PussNBoots eyes (from Shrek2). It really is enough to melt your heart, and I giggle everytime he does it.
Zoltan came in to our lives a little unexpectedly. Ever since we heard the name Zoltan we knew we needed a big black cat named as such. Being that Zydeco was needing a New Orleans based name, and had white on his chest, he could not be a Zoltan. Zoltan had to be a goofy looking panther. In May, my sister tried to save a 3 week old kitten abandoned by it's mom. The poor little thing was too weak and only lived a week longer. We were all very sad as it was the cutest little thing. So the next day, on my way to her house, I passed a house with Free Kittens posted in big bright letters in their yard. Not a good thing for a cat person to see. So I grabbed my sister and drove back to the house. There were 4 or 5 kittens...all hiding in tall grass. As the lady was pulling them out of the plants, it looked as if she was harvesting them. The 3rd one she picked was a little black one. My heart pitter pattered, I got all tingly and I think my blood pressure dropped 50 points, as is normal for a cat lover. I took about 2 seconds to think about it and called hubby.
"I found a widdle Zoltan, can we have him?"
"Is he a cool Zoltan?"
"I think so... I only saw him for a few seconds. Can we have him?"
"Do you love him?"
"Ofcourse I love him....although I only saw him for a few seconds."
"I don't know. Let me think about it. Where's it at?"
~~ gives him general directions~~2 hours later my phone rings.
"Guess what I have in my hands?"
"It better not be a damn quarter" (inside joke)
"No, it's not a quarter, I did things right this time. I have a widdle baby Zoltan. It was getting ready to storm and I didn't want the little thing to be scared in the storm...so I went and got him."So Zoltan came to live with us and became Zydeco's partner in crime. They are pretty much connected at all times. If they're not rolling around as one big black mass, their chasing eachother, or sleeping on eachother. He's definitely our goofy looking panther. A sweetheart when he's in the mood...laoudest purrs I've ever heard. We've taught him to dance for his food and treats, as he was too spastic of a kitten to tolerate sitting pretty.
In 2006 we lost 3 of our babies. They will be truly missed. :(
Last updated 12/06/06
